How #TheDress Debate Can Impact Your Marriage

The Dress (Photo obtained from:

 By Robin May

Who would have thought an internet sensation started by a Scottish musician could actually have a huge impact on your marriage.

I know. It seems like a far stretch, but just bear with me.

One of the things that I have found to be a challenge in many marriages is the power of perspective. We all know that our perspective is our reality…but our perspective doesn’t always match the facts. Our perspective is an interpretation of the facts…or an interpretation of what has happened.  I love this quote: ”If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.

Wait. Let me give that to you again because it supports my suggestion that #TheDress Debate can impact your marriage.

”If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.

Confession. Because I know you are dying to know.  When it comes to the dress, I can only see Blue and Black. I don’t even remember the other colors and actually it doesn’t matter because come on ya’ll…there is no way that dress can be anything other than blue and black…and anyone who sees anything else is downright crazy.

Okay. Maybe I went a little far with that, but that proves my point.  Two people can look at the very same thing, but the way they see that thing is based on the way their brain works…the way they process…it is based on our personal filters.  Again (I just mentioned this in the last blog), click HERE to hear me explain the concept of our “filter” and how it impacts our relationships. And many times we get so consumed with OUR view that it is hard to see the other persons view.

I challenge you to google (or you could ‘bing’ it…but who actually uses ‘bing’ when there is ‘google’? J/k) #TheDress.  Look at all the different comments…check out how sold people are on what THEY see…observe how some people have even gotten a little testy at those who don’t see it the way they see it. And then think about your marriage.

Whether the issues is money management (should we save for a new house or pay off all the bills?), raising children (should we allow him to quit football since he doesn’t like his coach, or should we make him stay to develop his character), or “THAT” issue (every couple has one) that you can’t seem to resolve, it all boils down to our perspective.  And learning how to respect the way our spouse processes situations is crucial for a healthy relationship.

Let’s revisit the quote I shared:

”If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.

Could it be that if you change the way you look at your marriage, maybe your marriage could change?

So there you have it. Hashtag DressGate is much more than a crazy online sensation. Never mind. It is a crazy online sensation. But it can really help your relationship.  Take some time to chat with your spouse about it. Ladies, sure your husband initially might think you are crazy for bringing this topic to him…and fellas she might be slightly concerned that you are interested in this dress debate….but push through the resistance and get to the heart of the matter! I believe you will be surprised at how enlightening the conversation could be!

Discussion Questions:

  1. Do you feel that I respect your perspective on issues?
  2. How can we both be more sensitive to one another’s viewpoints and ideas?
  3. How to we resolve an issue when we both have vastly different viewpoints?